Crazikus #17

One week...no haikus

Why did that happen, you ask?

Because I'm lazy

Things that are crazy.

Dogs wearing colorful vests.

Cats in pajamas.

It's so cold outside.

I think my nipples cracked off.

No breast feeding now.

Crazikus #16

Smelling the new stench

I ponder the origin

Who's gas attacked me?

I light hearted laugh

Beans, beans, the magical fruit

A source for pure fun

Don't get close, buddy!

That's a dangerous thing there

Panda with hammer.

Crazikus # 15

The funeral home
Has a bar that's named "Beavers"
Right next door....no joke.


Pushing for hours
I make a brown baby boy
That's NOT chocolate!


Stare in the bird's eyes...
And see nothing that's within
No conversation

Crazikus #14

Stabbing in my brain

Distinct pain like no other

Migraines are awesome

Smelling the pig's feet

I ponder where they have been

Pen? Barnyard? Stripclub?

Machines keep toiling

Burning oil and energy

To make my toilet

Crazikus # 13

A Beefy Middle

A Five-Syllable wonder

No need to explain

No, I don't do crack!

No drugs are needed for my

Retarded Haikus

Shit on a Shingle

That is Creamed chipped beef on toast

Military fun

Crazikus # 12

Beef, Pork, Chicken, Fish
Ingredients in dog food
Those lucky bastards


Walking down the street
I forget where I'm going
And...where are my pants?


The Asian bird flu
Doesn't scare me very much
I am not a bird

Crazikus # 11

The Hardcore gaming
can lead people down wrong paths
B.O., Cheetos, tears


Turtles are slowly
gaining on me in my car...
waiting to kill me


Walking to the store
I forgot to make a list
of people I loathe

Crazikus #10

Everything looks odd

I'm dancing on the ceiling

Must be the Eighties

Grab the controller

Play until the Cops give chase

GTA Hookers

"Smokin' and Drinkin'"

A song that defies all odds

Unbelievable

Crazikus #9

Fleeting thoughts today

What if Band-Aids were salted?

A world of wonder

Mullets rock my world

The "Wisconsin Waterfall"

Is by far, the best

Pus, blood, scabs, swelling

My love is overflowing

Salted Band-Aid? Hmmmm....

Crazikus #8

Sticker on my foot

It must be attacking me

From my Daughter's stash

Snowing constantly

The snowman gets heavier

Time to call Miss Craig

If gums are bleeding

stop chewing on broken glass

You circus reject

Crazikus #7

Beating on the drum

Babbaloo...Babbaloo...Yeah

Ricky is the bomb

Yeah, I did do it...

Put baby in the corner

She was in time-out

Creeping slowly now

Turtle took too much acid

Oh, Mister Wizard!

Crazikus #6

I'm hugging Hobos
Just to tell them they are great
at wearing feet bags


Something wasn't right
I had a bean in my sock
Placed by my daughter


Popping a biscuit
She laughs uncontrollably
Daddy's nose crinkles

Crazikus #5

Icy lemonade
Melting in my mouth tonight
I am in heaven


Riding Hobo Trains
Teaches me great life lessons
...don't be a hobo


Giant Elephant
Is wearing no pants today
very unaware

Crazikus #4

Pack up your bag well

If murder is your forte

Leave no evidence

Cranky Bee Keepers

Just need a little honey

To sweeten their lives

The words to live by

If at first you don't succeed

Try some Heroin

Crazikus #3

Moles with squinty eyes

need to see an eye doctor

and get sexy shades

Burrowing deeply

Lonely ticks seek out a home

To hold their sad tears

Fighting is awesome

Just ask the bleeding inmates

In cell block fourteen

Crazikus

With old fleeting thoughts

Beaver builds his dam again

To watch it crumble

Aliens cry hard

Sad about their giant heads

and no genitals

Drop a healthy bomb

Burritos make great ammo

Take THAT...toilet King!

Craziku (AKA Crazy Haikus)

So, I love writing insane haikus. It's kind of like "my thing" that I do.

5 Syllables

7 Syllables

5 Syllables

That's the format I follow. So, Patrizzia has encouraged me to write some crazy ones, and I guess this is the best place for me to jot them down. Maybe I'll do a few a day and see what happens.

It's whatever pops off my head. I don't dwell on the ideas too much or too often. Quick and easy. Down and Dirty.

So, here goes:

Blood on the ceiling

Splattered from a single head

Mustard...Candlestick

We share common thoughts

Each finishing sentences

Rock, paper, scissors

Driving through meadows

Little People on the hood

Over the Rainbow

Family Time

I just finished 12 straight days of vacation, and they were spent staying home with Patrizzia and Miabella. Even though we each took turns being ill from nasty colds, it was still a wonderful time home.

Playing board games, playing with Miabella and her new toys from Santa, staying up way to late to watch Dexter (and other shows), relaxing in our basement, listening to music and dancing, waking up to calls of "Daddy, Mommy, hello....where are you guys," seeing Bolt with Miabella for her first movie, eating tons of junk food and just going about each day with no major rush or plans was fabulous.

I hate to get back to the grind today, but that's OK. It could be much worse. I just cherish those moments with my family, and I just wait for the end of each day to get back to them....and anxiously await the weekend to spend every moment with them.

I don't need much in life.

I only need them.